Trump Pretends Coronavirus Doesn’t Exist: A Closer Look

Seth takes a closer look at the president deciding to inhabit an alternate reality where the coronavirus pandemic doesn’t exist, even as the US sets a single-day record for new cases.

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Trump Pretends Coronavirus Doesn’t Exist: A Closer Look- Late Night with Seth Meyers
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Transcript

-Hello, everyone, and
welcome back to the attic.I never, ever anticipated
that I'd be doing my shownot in a television studio
but in quiet solitudein my attic,
slowly descendinginto an ever-deepening chasm
of infinite madness.But all things considered,
I really have grown to like it.You know,
there's a magical qualityto this attic,
as evidenced by the factthat my beloved copy
of "The Thorn Birds"has multiplied and mutated into
anagrams of itself,unpublished sequels,
similar-sounding titles.and even other literary classics
with a "Thorn Bird" twist.And let's be clear —
that's magic.That's not something I'm doing,because it would be
a colossal waste of time.The door behind me
has provided entryto not only wasps and firemenbut Academy Award nominee
Ethan Hawke,leading some to ask, "Seth,have you ever thought
of going through that door?"And, yeah, the door does speak
and beckon for my entry,but, I assure you, I have
no interest in finding outwhere it leads,
and I certainly will notbe lured by its siren call.And speaking of
ignoring things, — segue –the President has decided
to inhabitan alternate reality
where the coronavirus pandemicjust doesn't exist,
even as the U.S.sets a single-day record
for new cases.For more on this, it's time
for "A Closer Look."[ "A Closer Look"
theme music plays ]An undeniable lesson
of the Trump era has beenthat one of our two major
political partiesis filled with
mentally unwell weirdos.Yesterday, for example,
at hearingon Attorney General Bill Barr's
various abuses of power,GOP Congressman Louie Gohmerttried to drown out
a witness's testimonyby banging the table,
and he wouldn't stop.[ Tapping ]
-This conduct in particulargives cause for great concern
about what Barr may do next.Just one — one —
another 30 seconds.In closing, it needs to be saidthat Bill Barr
does regularly liein ways that impact
official action.Along with his continuing
media projectto make Americans believe
that the FBI conspiredagainst Donald Trump…-The witness will continue.
[ Tapping continues ]-Can I have one more sentence?
-By all means.-Okay.
[ Tapping continues ]But, to me,
Barr's crowning dishonestyis the portrait of
Edward Levy that —Mr. Chairman, I would ask
that the sergeant-at-armsbe called upon to stop
the disruption of this meeting.[ Tapping continues ]I can't hear this witness.This is
a very important witness.-Yeah, well, he's
well beyond the time.-The Chair has the authority —
-If there are no rules about –There's no rules
about when you can make noise.-Ah, well-played, sir.There aren't any rules
about when you can make noise.And what a good point
for a 66-year-old man to make.You know, there's
also not a rulesaying you can't interrupt
a witness' testimonyby streaking across
the House floorin a giant foam cowboy hat.You go, 'Mert! [Gohmert]If he's gonna be
this irritating,can we at least get him
a Hector Salamanca bell?I mean, they do have
the same haircut.That knockapalooza really is
one of the most childish thingsI've ever seen in Congress,
and this is a placewhere senators have brought
snowballs onto the Senate floor,read "Green Eggs and Ham,"and printed out a giant poster
of Michael Cohen's facethat said,
"Liar, liar, pants on fire!"Congress is like some sort of
Montessori daycarewhere, for 40 grand a year,your child is supervised
by other children."We like to think of it
not as a daycarebut as a community.Good job with the
knife-juggling, Ashley.Be who you are.
Oh, God.Oh, that's a — that's a lot of
blood over there."So, that's what a Republican
member of Congress was doingon the day when the U.S. set
a new single-day recordfor coronavirus infections.
And what about the President?He was tweeting about —
you guessed it — lobsters.Cool. So, if you're one of
the 40 million peoplewho lost their job
during the pandemic,and had to wait in line
for unemployment,just jump in a boat
and catch some lobster.Instead of a second stimulus
check in the mail,every American is gonna get
a fishing netand a pair of rubber boots.But you got to be suspiciouswhen Trump tweets
a bunch of nice thingsabout your industry
out of nowhere.It's like getting flowers
from your husbandon a regular Tuesday morning.Your first thought has to be,
"What did you do?"Well, it won't surprise you
to learnthat Trump is lying
about this, too.And when you can lie
about lobster,the sky is the limit.
Next, he's gonna tweet…In reality,
lobster exports plungedafter Trump took office,
thanks to his trade war.Of course Trump is lying.
If he really thoughthe'd made lobstering
so profitable,he'd be going from
restaurant to restaurant,plunging his hands
into lobster tanks,trying to steal
as many as he could."Damn you, you son of a bitch.Keep those pincers away from me.This lobster is Antifa."So, a Republican Congressman
was banging on tables,and the president was lying
about lobsteras the U.S.
was setting a new recordfor coronavirus infections,five months after
our first official case.Remember, at the beginning
of this outbreak,when you heard the phrase
"flatten the curve"over and over again,
like you were watchinga Billy Blanks workout video?"Come on, everyone,two knee raises
into a side kick.Tae Bo is all about
flattening those curves!"That's why we all
stayed in our homes,watching "Maury,"and drinking cereal
straight out of the bowl,in our sweatpants
for three months.The point was to get cases and
hospitalizationsdown to a manageable level and
to limit community transmissionso we could get
a rigorous systemof testing and contact tracing
in placethat would allow us
to safely get backto some semblance of normalcy.Instead, the president
has squandered all of that,complained that testing
makes him look bad,and called on his government
to slow testing down.And now his administration
is following through,cutting funding to testing sitesas the outbreak reaches
its worst levels yet.-There's a new plan
at the White Housefor how to deal with
coronavirus testingat the federal level
in states across the country.Geoff Bennett reporting
that the Trump administrationis planning to end
its funding and supportfor coronavirus testing sites at
the end of this month.That is, on June 30th.-That's right, they're cutting
federal fundingfor community testing sites now,
as the outbreak hits a new peak.That's like a pilot turning off
the "seat belt" signafter they graze a mountain."Don't worry, folks, we just
nicked one of the Rockies.Feel free to stretch your legs,
and don't look out the window.I assure you that
at least half of our wingsare still attached
to the plane."At what point can we sayTrump is actively putting people
in harm's way?He holds indoor rallies,
refuses to wear a mask,and wants to cut back
on testing.Soon, he's gonna start going
door-to-door,coughing on people
and licking their doorknobs.Just yesterday, it was reportedthat dozens of Secret Service
officers and agentswere told to self-quarantine
after Trump's Tulsa rally.Trump is a one-man
superspreader.He is the "Ozark" swimming pool
of human beings.That's why his Secret Service
code name is Typhoid Gary."Typhoon Gary is on the move.Well, less of a move.
It's more of a lumber."Trump has said repeatedly,
since the day this all started,that he dislikes testing,
because it makes him look bad.And even after his staff tried
to claim he was joking,he corrected themand said he was serious
about slowing down testing.-I don't kid.By having more tests,
we find more cases.Therefore, we test, we're
gonna have more cases.By having more cases,
it sounds bad.-It sounds bad because it's bad.Look, man, if you don't like
the sound a smoke alarm makes,stop putting giant balls
of aluminum foilin the microwave."But I need to
keep my foil ball warm."If we stop testing for cases,that doesn't mean
the cases aren't there.That just means
we don't know about them.You can go into
a roadside motel roomwithout a black light,but it doesn't mean the linens
are springtime fresh.So now our curve
is headed back upafter months of Americans
making tremendous sacrificesto try to flatten it.
Meanwhile, there are lots ofother countries that really did
flatten their curves.Just look at
the European Unionor the dozens of countries
that have successfullysuppressed their outbreaks.-The first group
is the countriesthat appear to have
successfully suppressedtransmission of the disease.That curve has come
all the way downso that they are barely
registering any new cases.We have Andorra, Australia,
Austria, Bhutan, Cambodia,China, Croatia, Cuba, Djibouti,
Estonia, Greece, Iceland,Jamaica, Jordan, Kosovo, Latvia,
Lebanon, Liechtenstein,Lithuania, Luxembourg, Malta,
Mauritius, Monaco, Montenegro,New Zealand, Slovakia, Slovenia,
South Korea, Taiwan, Thailand,Tunisia, and finally Vietnam.-Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Slow down.Hey, honey, what would you think
about moving to Mauritius?You always said
you like the sand.You like the sand, honey.Sounds like a list of countries
Jay Leno would aska bunch of spring breakers
to find on a map."Un, where's, uh, Djibouti?""Right here, baby!
There's Djibouti."We even did worse than Iceland,a country that has
a penis museumand where — and this is true —
people still believe in elves.The only mythical creatures
we have are Pasta Goblins."Finish your rotini, Anthony,
or the Pasta Goblinwill come and steal your neck."Yeah, that is a callback to
yesterday's "Closer Look."I mean, I'm guessingit's the same people
who watch every night, right?Anyway, if this is your first
look," welcome aboard.We used have to have
an audience.America could have been
like one those countries.In fact, some of them
have been ableto restore the cultural markers
of normalcy we all crave,like live sports,
with fans in attendance.-This is a welcome sight
for sports fans.No social distancing
and no masks,as 43,000 fans
were in the stadiumfor a rugby match
in New Zealand.The country had
remarkable successeliminating the coronavirus.This weekend's match
marked a big milestone.No new cases of the virus
have been reportedin more than three weeks.-New Zealand had fans in
attendance at a rugby match.Meanwhile, the NBA is planning
on trapping its playersat Disney World like
a family stuckon a three-hour line
for Space Mountain."I told you we shouldn't have
wasted a FastPasson Journey Into Imagination,
Lebron.I told you."We could have been
like New Zealand.They're going to
live sporting eventsand eating nachos in the sun,
while we're stuck herewith President Lobster,trekking to Trader Joe's
every two weeksin a beekeeper's suit
stuffed with Clorox wipes."If I don't make it back, don't
forget, microwave the mail."Because our outbreak
is actually getting worse.We just set a new record,
and the peak is now higherthan it was back in April,
despite the factthat Trump and his team
repeatedly told usthey had succeeded
in flattening the curve.-We've flattened the curveand really made
tremendous progress.-I'm proud to report to you,
as the head ofthe White House
Coronavirus Task Force,we slowed the spread,
we flattened the curve.-I think you'll see, by June,
a lot of the countryshould be back to normal,
and the hope isthat, by July, the country is
really rocking again.-Is there anything less
"rocking"than hearing Jared Kushner
say "rocking?"If James Hetfield said,
"Are you ready to rock?"and then Jared Kushner
came onstage,fans would tear the place
to the ground.What even constitutes
rocking for Kushner?A second glass of rosé
on the catamaran?Let's just face facts.
Jared is Stefffrom "Pretty in Pink,"
with worse hair.Because, Steff,
you were a real a-hole.But with hair like that,
I just can't stay mad.Wait, would I like Kushner
if he had Steff hair?No! Take it away.And that's a second callback
to yesterday's "Closer Look"Trump has decided to just ignore
and, even worse,actively cover up
a national catastrophethat is only getting worse,
despite months of sacrificesby Americans who endured
tremendous pain.There's no way to conclude
anything other than the factthat the president is actively
putting Americans in harm's wayto serve his own narrow
political agenda.It's true, even though…
-It sounds bad.-This has been "A Closer Look."Papa.[ "A Closer Look"
theme music plays ]As New York works hard
to open under phase 2,remember that we're still
a city in crisis,and City Harvest
has been stepping upto meet the increased need.If you're watching this online,
you can hit the Donate button.Stay safe, wash your hands.
We love you.

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