The Tonight Show: At Home Edition (Screengrabs: Coronavirus, Jimmy’s Nose Ring)

Jimmy ups the production value as he kicks off week six of quarantine with some Hollywood lighting and his favorite Tonight Show fan-submitted screenshots from the internet in another Tonight Show home edition.

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The Tonight Show: At Home Edition (Screengrabs: Coronavirus, Jimmy’s Nose Ring)
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Transcript

-Hi, everyone.Now is a time
to really be patientand just trust people in charge
of where we all liveand listen to themand do whatever we can
to get through this.This is going to be the toughest
time, but we'll get through it.Welcome to another
"Tonight Show: At-Home Edition."Let's get right to some jokes.That's right,
this is week six of quarantine,and things are tense.Today, Nancy and the kids
marched around the housewith signs demanding
I go back to work.[ Bell dings ]Today, New York City Mayor
Bill de Blasio announcedthat all non-essential events
in June have been canceled.That story again,
all of Bill de Blasio'sJune press conferences
have been canceled.Governor Cuomo announced
that New Yorkers can nowget legally married
via video conference.Meanwhile, you know
there's alreadyguests at
a FaceTime wedding going,"Ugh, I can't believe
they didn't do this on Zoom.How tacky."The CEO of Wynn Resorts is
calling for the Las Vegas stripto reopen by mid-May.That's right, the CEO said,
"Casinos need to reopenso Americans can go back
to losing money again."[ Bell dings ]That gets a ding.The Federal Trade Commission
just approved Pepsi's purchaseof Rockstar Energy Drinks.It's going to be so annoying
at restaurantswhen I order
a Coke and a Red Bulland the waiter says, "Sorry,
is Pepsi and Rockstar okay?"That's right,
Pepsi now owns Mountain Dewand Rockstar Energy Drinks.Pepsi, who are you fooling?
Just start making methand call it a day.
Come on.This is exciting. Last night,
ESPN aired the first two partsof their Michael Jordan
docuseries, "The Last Dance."Yeah, it's something sports fans
can't pass up,sort of like Michael Jordan
any time he had the ball.[ Laughing ] Oh!
[ Bell ding ]Wow.President Obama was interviewed
for the series.And a lot of people laughedat the description
the filmmakers gave him.Check it out.
They just call him"Former Chicago resident."That's like calling Jesus
"Former carpenter."And they were like,
"Our mistake.It should have said
'Michelle's husband.'"[ Bell dings ]I see that Disney brought back
its bedtime hotlineto help kids
through the pandemic.Yeah, when your kids complain
about being stuck inside,Cinderella will reply,
"I live in an atticand have rats for friends.
Can we not right now?"Finally, I saw that today is
National Lookalike Day.And as a reminder,
90% of the time, nothing goodever comes after, "You know
who you kind of look like?"That's our monologue, everybody.As I said, today is Monday.We had a very successful show
on Saturday night.The "One World:
Together At Home" eventraised $179 million,so I wanted to thank Lady Gaga
and Global Citizenfor putting all that together —
That was major –and NBC and ABC, CBS, for all
teaming up and working together.That was a —
That was a great thing.We got, through that,
a light barthat was sent to me for lighting
to increase my production value.So, honey,
do you want to pan over?Look at that.So if you notice, the show
is just amazing right now,and why the lighting was —
'cause I — [ Laughs ]Did you think it —
I don't know. I saw the show.I don't think it worked.
-I'm not sure.-Whatever.
We have that light bar.We have a lightsaber,
so if you're like,"Hey, who's that? Brad Pitt?"No, it's still me.It's just, we have a light bar
helping us out.But we are actually going
to try new things with the showand experiment just to see what
you guys like and don't like.So feel free to talk about
what you like and don't likeon the socials.I can take it.And things you like
or you go, "I think –I like this room
better than that.I want to get
right to the monologue first.I want more jokes about," blank,
let me hear it.Talk to me, 'cause
I'm doing this for you.So I want you to be happy,
alright?Alright. Let's get to a bit on
our show called "Screengrabs."Look at this.
Already production value.- Make me wanna screengrab -Here's what "Screengrabs" is.Screengrabs is when I see
something on the InternetI think is funny or coolor you guys see funny or weird,
cool things on the Internetand take a screengrab of it
and send it in to us. Okay?So this first one
was sent in by Mark Richardsonin Hudson, New Hampshire.He was looking for some dealsat his local grocery store,
posted online.Spotted this.
Look at this right here."Boneless spiral sliced ham.Fully cooked. Heat and serve."Look at this, if you zoom in."100% edible."Whoo.100% edible?
What? Sign me up for two.I'll have two of those hams.Honey, you can eat –Nah, forget it.This one's from Nikki McNeal
in Ardmore, Alabama.She was watching her local news
and saw this headline.It says,
"Rain creates wet roads."Yeah. Wow."How's that –How's that raise
we talked about, Carl?""Well, that report you did about
the rain making the roads wet,it's pretty impressive,but I think we'll have to wait
on that raise."Alright.
"Rain creates wet roads."Told you first.This one is from Eric Allred
in Duncan, South Carolina.He did a Google searchfor animals that start
with the letter "A."Let's see what he found.Letters that start with "A."
First one, elephant.Ah, yeah, sure.[ Bell dings ]Yeah, it's close.What's your problem?Why's everyone — Why's everyone
getting mad at the teacher?[ Laughs ]Animals that begin with "A."Elephants. What?Second choice? Okay.This is from Dayna Grams
in "Shamplain," Minnesota.Is it "Shamplain"?Yeah. Champlin?Champlin? Minnesota?Well, she spotted a deal for
some educational DVDs for kids.I love that stuff.It says — Lookit right here.
"Your baby can reaf."This is teaching your –Your baby can reaf."Oh, my kids been reafing
all day, man."Happy 4/20, by the way…[ Bell dings ]
…everybody. Happy 4/20."The rain makes the roads –"Okay, yeah. Made them wet.Okay, we got that story already.
Let's go to the next headline.This one's from Chris Mayer
in Munster, Indiana.She was buying some Easter candy
on Amazon and found this.It says, "Easter Care Package
Filled with…Snakes."Happy Easter, everybody.Happy Easter.Maybe we should move
this light in here.Just feeling a little –We can really get
the good lighting here.[ Chuckles ][ Clattering ][ Creaking, clunking ]-Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.-Here we go.This is from Abbey Hulsey
in Billings, Montana.She was looking for
a dance movie on Netflix,came across this one right here."Dances with Wolves,"
"Her Tango."Can I help you?
-Daddy.You know what?
-What?-And there's a lady,but I guess she has two things
that she needs to do.-What does she have to do?-She needs to, like, blow the
whole thing that we built –that we built, and also,
there's more purple stuff.-Yeah.
-[ Sighs ]Can you help us get her back?-Absolutely.Can't believe she recognized mewith this great
Hollywood lighting.This one is from Ken Dokken
in Ft. Worth, Texas.He was shopping on Amazon
for some toilet paperand found a pretty good deal
here. Look at this one.Right there, it says,
"$29.92, 1 used offer."What's the big deal?Do you want —
Do you want a dealon some — some toilet paper?Buy it used.This one's from Carol Schmidt
in Bellevue, Washington.It's an alert
that she got on her phonefrom "The Seattle Times."
It gave her two choices.Let's see what they were."Sign up for
coronavirus updates.Yes, I want coronavirus,"
or "Dismiss."Wow.Hope she made the right choice.This last one is from Adam
Flader in Winter Park, Florida.He was watching our show
and spotted this.This is from our show
last week, honey.I guess when — when the screen
buffers, there's, like,a screen — a ring
that goes around your screen.This one perfectly fit
right around my nose.Maybe I should get a nose ring.I'm going to do that.Guys, that's all the time
we have for "Screengrabs."We have a fun show tonight.We have — Melissa McCarthy
and Octavia Spencerwill be here on the show. Yeah!Frontline Foods is the charity
they're working with.Then we have Megan Thee Stallionwho's going to talk about
the ALL IN Challenge.You can — You can bid on —
on a hangout day or weekendwith Megan Thee Stallion.Maybe you'll get
some glam squad.You'll be in one of her videos.She's going to talk to us
all about that.And we have great magic
from Dan White,who is an awesome,
awesome magician.And he –If you have
a calculator at home,you can do the trick
with Dan White.So if you're at homeand you want to play along
with this trick,the whole family can do it.
Get a calculatorand play with a magic trick
from Dan White.We'll be right back
with a more produced versionof "The Tonight Show:
At-Home Edition."

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